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About 4 million people are "swingers," according to estimates by the Kinsey Institute and other researchers. As of December 2021, we have been together over 14 years, married over 6 years, and swinging over 7 years. We have never broken up any time since we’ve been together. Swinging has only brought us closer and strengthened our relationship. We started dating in 2007 , started swinging in 2014 , and got married in 2015 . Without a strong foundation, the swinging lifestyle may do more harm than good to a relationship or your own self.

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On SwingTowns, you can connect with locals nearby or anywhere in the world. No matter what your style of non-monogamy (open relationship, swinging, polyamory or just open minded friends… whatever your unique relationship style), SwingTowns is the place to connect with people like you. Not always, but keep in mind some swinger clubs and groups insist that you come with a partner.

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Even the Lust Parties went broke and were bought by another club. Since we stared 8 swinger groups have opened and closed. There’s a swingers club called Freedom Acres in San Bernardino (I think I’ve only ever been there when others are driving so I only know the location from my hometown which is about 60 miles North-NorthEast of LA). As one of the most exclusive swingers club in LA, you will again need to be a member to go there. Also, you need to do your research before going to one. Check out the website of the club of your choice.

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Both husbands simply stand on the sidelines for now, watching and waiting, exchanging looks with their wives to size up who is ready for things to progress to a downstairs room. They negotiate the rules of play and find assurance that both women definitely desire one another's husbands. Like every swinger I spoke with, the husband wants his wife to truly want to do it, never to be forced or pressured.

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You won’t love or sleep with anyone else, and neither will I. Once possession is removed, the love between two or more people is no longer defined by what they will not do with others, but by what they actually feel and have together. Maybe you’ve read swinger stories, know swinger couples who are successfully living it, or maybe you’re brand spakin’ new – no pun intended – to the idea of non-monogamy. Whatever the case, there’s a lot of information to be found out there in the big, wide world – even more so on the world wide web – and not all of it is exactly accurate.

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The Kinsey Institute estimates that there are 4 million swingers in the United States alone , and that number is likely to be low because some people don’t want to out themselves. It can be hard to understand how “swinging” — when you swap partners with another couple and sleep with someone new — can actually lead to stronger relationship bonds. But believe it or not, it can, and there are more couples interested in doing it than you may realize. For example, you'll want to discuss the rules of the road. Talk about the level — soft, full, or hard — you're OK with.

They consider lifestyle friends better friends than most "vanilla" friends they have. When new online friends offered to take them to Tabu Social Club, Lori was very nervous. "It took a lot for me to finally walk through the door," she recalls.

A few swingers may dislike your standards or you probably won't care for their guidelines. The swinging communities regard and respect one another and firmly realize that their own relationship is of prime concern over any swinging. We spoke to a dozen marriage counselors about the lifestyle, and not one of them said don't do it. Most said consenting adults will do what consenting adults do.

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Lusty swinger couples are swapping partners and fucking in a steamy red room. Kinky couples are swapping partners during a wild swinger party. And, as hush-hush groups will often do, swingers have created their own language to describe certain common behaviors. The whole point of experiencing this unconventional lifestyle is so that you can take home these new experiences with you.

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The more chill you are, the STRONGER the bond with your partner already is, the better the experience will be. The Florida-based website emphasizes club meetings and even has connections with “Bliss Cruise”, and “Topless Travel” options for meet and greets. It took months before I worked up the courage to actually try anything. While backpacking through Europe that summer, I let a cute Australian boy kiss me (badly—way too much tongue, yuck), and then spent the next hour weeping on the phone to Michael, consumed with shame. Monogamy was the only relationship model that had ever been shown to me, and even though smooching the Aussie felt right , cheating was the closest approximation to what I felt.

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Swinging is a joint effort, where the couple goes into swinging together, whether simply for pleasure or to improve their relationship. It’s not unusual for one partner to become curious about the swinging lifestyle first without the other’s knowledge. When that person begins to research and wonder about what it might be like to try the lifestyle they may feel uneasy about broaching the topic with their partner. Fears of causing hurt feelings or a rift in the relationship are very real. At some point though the idea must be shared in a thoughtful and respectful way if there is any chance of making the lifestyle a reality.

The terms may vary, but typically it means that while the two can pursue physical thrills outside of the relationship, their loyalty lies with their respective partner alone. Not to knock the merits or challenges of monogamy, but where time management, jealousy and trust are concerned, non-monogamous folk have a bit of a fuller plate, if I must say so myself. Couples in the lifestyle who wish to start families or have additional children are highly recommended to cease participation in swinging for at least several months prior to an intended pregnancy. To be sure, check to see if these groups or couples are into wife sharing for single guys before assuming anything. Some couples prefer watching and avoiding all physical contact, at least for the first time. “Hard” swap or full swap means partner trading for a whole night or at least a few hours.

Like anything else in a relationship, swinging will fail if you don’t communicate. And the most critical aspect of making the next experience just as mind-blowing as talking about what you did after the fact. The dialogue will allow you to debate the incident and determine whether rules should be amended or added or if there are other things you’d both like to attempt next time. The emphasis on open communication sets the tone for more than just the swinging experience; it also teaches us to use open and honest dialogue as partners in life. Since swinging is often about exploring the physical side of intimacy with your partner and others, not engaging in emotional attractions, be aware that if unwanted feelings start to occur, then swinging may not be for you. The parties and elite clubs will most likely be filled with regular folk like your next-door neighbor.

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People usually get that reputation for a cause, especially in a small group. Individuals who live a life of their own, such as a swinger or someone in the “lifestyle style,” are frequently unmarried. And these groups often congregate at public and private events staged on rental properties, resorts, or even cruise ships.

You can look through photo albums or chat with others in a forum or online messaging. Seeking.com is not a swinger dating website specifically, but it does just so happen to bring a lot of hot college girls together, all on the tab of a wealthy guy with no attachments. SwingLifeStyle promotes a “Swingers Next Door” kind of feel, with less emphasis on perfection and supermodels stripping on video, and more about finding real couples. We actually conducted a research project and registered for about 20 different swingers sites. Over the course of 25 hours or so, our profile and pictures got a lot of responses – and mostly from the top 5 sites on our list. Eventually, a few friends from the BDSM community sat me down and told me that I couldn’t force this lifestyle on him.

Proper use of a condom with an effective birth control method can minimize the risk of pregnancy and transmission of STIs while swinging. Other solutions include a tubal ligation , vasectomy , or having a group entirely made of menopausal women. If the swinging couple likes your photos, they will talk to you and make sure you understand how things are going to go. Be available swingersandfun.com/what-is-a-swingers-bar-how-to-ask-if-a-couple-swings/ if your first couple wants to chat with both of you on video or by phone. As much as possible, try to establish that you’re real, serious, and ready to meet in person.

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Practicing open and honest dialogue helps swingers avoid the headaches that come with communication breakdowns. Drama and fighting cease to exist in environments where over-communication is the standard practice. Once you’ve made sure you’re going for the same reason, you need to make rules. “I think what’s happening now is that it’s 2017 and people are coming to the understanding that we are going to live until we are basically 80 years old and what are we going to do with each other? The swingers claim their marriages are stronger because they don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other. "We all go home with our spouses. We're not living a lie," said Lavonne.

Maressa Brown is a journalist and astrologer who's a regular lifestyle contributor and resident astrologer for InStyle. She has nearly two decades of professional experience writing, reporting, and editing lifestyle content for a variety of digital and print consumer-facing publications including Parents, Shape, Astrology.com, and more. She is currently based in Los Angeles and completing her first title with Artisan Books to be published in early 2023.

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Those new to the LifeStyle often find that their preconceptions about the LifeStyle were way off. Swingers are not the middle-aged, overweight 1960's rejects as the stereotype suggests. They are normal people, the same people you see everywhere. They go to the grocery store, to the baseball game and to the movies. Numerous studies and polls give widely varying results on how many swingers there really are.

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They have dinner parties, celebrate birthdays, and help each other move. They consider lifestyle friends better friends than most "vanilla" friends they have. "Swingers mostly play together, whereas in open relationships, people mostly see other people separately," Vrangalova says. One study showed 37% of husbands and 29% of wives admit at least one extramarital affair , and divorce-rates for first marriages approached 60%.

They explain they don't swing to fill a void in their marriage, but to enhance it. So go the lyrics of Katy Perry's classic song. It's what piqued their interest in "the lifestyle" and locked them in for life. This definitely bothered me—shouldn’t it be equal? Eventually, a few friends from the BDSM community sat me down and told me that I couldn’t force this lifestyle on him. I needed to believe him when he said he was cool with our dynamic—that I was hooking up with more people than he was.

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The following are some examples of non-monogamous relationships. People who practice non-monogamy are more than aware of the existence of jealousy, and more than capable of experiencing it themselves. Ashley Madison provides chat, email, travel perks for meeting lovers on the go, and most importantly, anonymity. If you’re a single guy looking for couples, Ashley Madison has the tools you need. While not strictly a swinger dating app, it might just do the trick.

Not to knock the merits or challenges of monogamy, but where time management, jealousy and trust are concerned, non-monogamous folk have a bit of a fuller plate, if I must say so myself. You are not being asked simply to trust that your partner will obey your mutually established rules, but instead to trust in your mutually established love. Trust that a casual tryst will not threaten your love. Trust that a new partner is truly an addition and not a replacement. Trust that even as a secondary or tertiary lover, you are still cared for and respected. To be sure, check to see if these groups or couples are into wife sharing for single guys before assuming anything.

We’ve curated this list of frequently asked questions about swinging to give you a glimpse into the lifestyle. Reddit has its own official threadthat discusses the pros and cons of popular swinger sites and can also be a place to read about swingers’ personal experiences. It takes time to find the right people to swing with, sometimes, a long time. You’re trusting another person with your partner and the person you love and it’s the same for the other party too. It’s completely okay to take your time to find the right people.

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There is no straight answer to this question. The only way to know is to have a deep conversation about it with your partner and decide if it’s right for you to try or not. People who get involved in the lifestyle often feel compersion. There's also an argument to be had for ethical non-monogamy.

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As do monogamous relationships, non-monogamous relationships require mutual trust and respect, while cheating undermines trust, respect and consent. Perhaps in a few years, it will be the "in thing" to be a swinger. Today, the LifeStyle is evolving and becoming more mainstream. As the quality of swinger events, websites and clubs improves, more people are willing to join the fun. One study showed 37% of husbands and 29% of wives admit at least one extramarital affair , and divorce-rates for first marriages approached 60%.

Click here for a full list of swingers clubs, venues, and resorts in the USA by state. Both husbands simply stand on the sidelines for now, watching and waiting, exchanging looks with their wives to size up who is ready for things to progress to a downstairs room. They negotiate the rules of play and find assurance that both women definitely desire one another's husbands. Like every swinger I spoke with, the husband wants his wife to truly want to do it, never to be forced or pressured. Across the room, they spot a couple they know and have thought about "playing" with.

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Swinger partners want to know you’re safe, normal, and interesting before they proceed. You’re all like-minded people trading monogamy for the interesting swinger lifestyle. Believe it or not, Ashley Madison is not all about cheating.

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Dave also uses this time to figure out how close the other couple is and whether or not the guy may be using his wife to get his own action. It's what piqued their interest in "the lifestyle" and locked them in for life. Swinging doesn’t have to last forever.Some studies suggest that the swinging lifestyle only lasts a few years for most couples . People who have come out or been outed as swingers have had their jobs and families negatively impacted, so plenty of swingers keep their activities on the down low. Some of them may even use false identities and names when they’re swinging. Condoms decrease the risk of both when you’re swinging, even if you don’t regularly use them with your husband.

What works for one couple may not work for you and vise versa. The reason why one couple decides to start swinging may be completely different than your reason and there is no “right” way to do so. Click here for a full list of swinger dating sites and their popularity by state and country.

Kasidie offers anonymous couples matching with customized levels of privacy. You can look through photo albums or chat with others in a forum or online messaging. SwingLifeStyle promotes a “Swingers Next Door” kind of feel, with less emphasis on perfection and supermodels stripping on video, and more about finding real couples. We actually conducted a research project and registered for about 20 different swingers sites. Over the course of 25 hours or so, our profile and pictures got a lot of responses – and mostly from the top 5 sites on our list. Let's start the night out at a dance club and then see where we can go from there.

Also, the action may not start until much later in the evening, so don’t get bored and leave because nobody’s getting it on by midnight. Nor is a unicorn a mythical white horse; it’s a female who attends swingers events alone. Other useful terms include “soft swap” (couples who’ll play with other couples but won’t “go all the way”) and "the lifestyle," which is a term swingers use to describe their, well, lifestyle. This research could mean visiting swinging forums or engaging in conversations with other swingers first to get an idea of expectations and possible issues. Swinging is a joint effort, where the couple goes into swinging together, whether simply for pleasure or to improve their relationship. While it might sound counterintuitive, couples who engage in swinging don't necessarily define their relationship as "open." Think of "open relationship" as a bit of an umbrella term, suggests Baldwin.

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Before I met my boyfriend, I connected with Anna and Pat on Feeld, a committed Austin-based couple who love craft beers and traveling. Anna tells me that she and Pat started swapping four years into their eight-year relationship. Contraception and birth control is important in swinging. You don’t want to get pregnant by someone who isn’t your husband, and having multiple partners increases the risk of STI transmission.

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Last summer, after seven years of marriage, Lori and her husband sought out their first swinging encounter. Lori works at a Washington, DC law firm during the day, attends law school at night, and is the mother of two with a third on the way. She fits swinging into her and her husband's busy schedule.

And with nearly 46.5 million listings, you'll have a lot of choices when visiting Phoenix, San Antonio, Denver, Baltimore, Cleveland and Boston. The story- I bought a knee high stack of Swinger Ad magazines from the 70s (because that’s what I do) and enjoyed the next few months leisurely leafing through them marveling at the personals. Or, a photo of someone else’s ad where it’s damn well obvious they’re in the mood for that. To be sure, check to see if these groups or couples are into wife sharing for single guys before assuming anything.

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While other sites did have impressive features, your best bet on actually finding a date nearby willing to meet over drinks is Adult Friend Finder. If you are at an office or shared network, you can ask the network administrator to run a scan across the network looking for misconfigured or infected devices. One who is to weak to remain faithful and loyal to a single partner. Other relationships, while they may indeed be loving, will not take precedence over the primary relationship.

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If you think this doesn’t exist, think for a moment about emotional affairs. There are different types of non-monogamy, some where all parties involved are absolutely equal – in terms of love and commitment, that is – some where they are not. The following are some examples of non-monogamous relationships. To the monogamous world, two people who essentially belong to each other is the only kind of fathomable commitment in existence.

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For instance, you might not want to kiss people who aren’t your husband because it feels intimate. Communication is essential to respecting boundaries. Even if you’re excited about getting into the swinging lifestyle, you might find yourself uncomfortable or jealous, so you need to have realistic expectations. You might need to dip your toe in the water first or take a break from swinging even after you’ve become swingers. Once you've concluded that swinging is the form of non-monogamy that would work best for you, broach the conversation with your partner. "If they are a 'maybe' or a 'yes,' be sure to spend plenty of time learning more about how to navigate non-monogamy, as well as having plenty of clear conversations about feelings, boundaries, and needs," suggests Baldwin.

Just as we were about to bid goodbye to the orgies, one-night stands, and Devil’s Threeways (this just means a threesome with two guys and one girl—moi!), we discovered swinging. Specifically, by splurging on a $5,000 trip to Young Swingers Week at Hedonism 2 in Jamaica. In all honesty, I knew about swinging solely from the punchlines of sitcom jokes, as the wacky solution for failing marriages.

We have many members to choose from arcross the country. 7.Cell phone usage during a VAS party is not allowed. Should you have a call, please leave the party until your conversation is complete. Webcasting, podcasting is strictly prohibited unless sanctioned by VAS. Membership fees are due upon acceptance of membership and before you attend your second event. Website Membership, and "SecretCard" Membership is available to select couples & single Click for more info females ONLY.

These couples know a thing or two about flexibility, individuality, and communication. “Upon hearing his description of this carnal fantasy-land, I thought, ‘I want to go to there,'” he explains. “Gut-wrenchingly horrendous single male behavior is all too well known among Lifestylers — pushy, rude and selfish among the most common descriptors,” he says. It took him a while, but after six months, he was in. It’s easier to break into the swinging lifestyle if you’re part of a couple. Many parties and events welcome single women, who will find it easier to play with a couple, but not single men .

The idea that monogamy was the only moral approach to relationships was so deeply ingrained in me that even his heartfelt insistence that everything was fine couldn’t comfort me. TBH, I dealt with these feelings of guilt and shame for about 10 years after we opened our marriage until a couples therapist helped me work through them. At a minimum these studies indicate that a lot of people are receptive to the idea of swinging. You will also share photo albums, account settings, and all of your individual information will be visible on the same profile page in the site.

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on UnsplashMy husband and I met in the flip-phone era. There’s no need to cheat, said David, when you can talk about most everything and indulge in agreed upon fantasies at the same time. Prepare yourself for communicating more than you did when you were monogamous. "Things become a bit more complex when we allow more people into our intimate, energetic space," says Baldwin.